I am a blood connoisseur. In fact, probably shouldn’t admit what I’m about to tell you. As a horror filmmaker, it might actually be a little embarrassing. The sight of blood makes me a little squeamish. There, I said it. Well, perhaps I should clarify… the sight of my own blood makes me squeamish. But to paraphrase James Wan (Insidious), it’s because we have these fears that we are able to tap into what is truly scary, and create terrifying moments on film. So, I’m going to tell you how to make fake blood that will make your stomach turn.
One of my biggest pet peeves in horror films is fake blood that looks, well… fake. My chief complaint is that it’s either too bright or has the wrong consistency. As much as I love some of the old school horror films, some of them look like they spilled paint, or ketchup over the actor. Bad blood can take a viewer right out of the moment.
I’ve guarded this secret formula for years, like Coke stashing the recipe in an underground vault more impenetrable than Fort Knox. But know, I’m going to share it with you, like a joint at a Grateful Dead concert.
First you take 2, hot, eighteen year old virgins… you’ll need a funnel, some tubing, and a bucket. (Good luck finding the virgins.) Oh, and some towels.
Then a quick trip to the grocery store, where you need to pickup strawberry and chocolate syrup, in roughly a 2 to 1 ratio, respectively.
Now mix to taste. Be careful. A little chocolate goes a long way. I continually test the mix dripping it down my arm, to make sure it has the right consistency. It’s really not rocket science, but I will tell you, the brand of syrup makes all the difference. The no-name brands suck for this. I like the brand that starts with an H.
Once you have your perfect mix, you’re ready to create some mayhem. You can test the mix on the two hotties – just put a towel down, cause things could get messy.
The best part of this mix is that is tastes good and doesn’t typically stain clothes. But, since you are making a horror film, clothing is optional on your victims. To see some of this blood in action, check out my horror film Spirit Camp.